Long-distance relationships – top tips on how to maintain them
By Paige Wykes
New relationships can be exciting and wonderful. Having the opportunity to spend almost every day with someone is something special. However, not many people get the opportunity of doing this due to all sorts of reasons and spend most of their relationship miles apart.
My current relationship has been a long-distance one from the beginning. I met my boyfriend online (which seems to be more common now) even though we are from the same hometown we were living in two different cities at the time. Three years on and we’re still together making it work long distances. I get asked all the time how we have kept it going for so long. So, here are my top tips for maintaining a long-distance relationship.
Trust and honesty – These are quite hard to grasp, and you will need to work on this for some time. However, try to allow yourself to not worry so much about what the other person is doing 24/7. I understand it is easier said than done but for example: if the other person is going out with some friends and you’re worried they’re going to meet someone else that night, try and distract yourself with a film or a book. Keeping in contact to make sure they’re safe and having a good time is okay but you don’t want to have to spend your night worrying about who they’re with and how they’re going to get home. The other person will need to be able to trust you as well, as in any relationship this needs to work both ways. So, try being honest with each other from the beginning and it should work out okay.
Making the effort both ways – There will be times where you’ll want to be able to see one another, and some travelling might be involved. It is always important to make sure that both of you are putting in the same amount of effort whether that is taking the time off work or saving money for transport etc. From my experience, I have done my fair share of taking the time off work and travelling and so has my boyfriend. I’ll be honest there have been times where we have not been able to see each other for months due to our own personal lives and things getting in the way. But we have always worked around it and kept telling ourselves and each other that we won’t be apart forever.
Communication – In this day and age we live in, keeping in touch with people is far easier than it was 30/40 years ago. However, having busy lives and maintaining a long-distance relationship can all feel like a full-time job in itself. But if both you and your partner want to make it work then it won’t feel like a full-time job. Texting and video-calling have become such an important part to my long-distance relationship and without that I honestly don’t think it could have lasted this long. I text my boyfriend every day and I always get asked by friends and family “what do you even talk about?”. My answer – literally anything. We do have days where conversations are dry, but we don’t let that get to us. We both realised early on that keeping in touch is so important and we both want to talk to each other not because we have to. We have found ways of having fun whilst being apart – my new favourite thing to do with my boyfriend is using Netflix Party. This is an app you can download on your laptop or PC and you can share a link from your Netflix to your partner and you can watch tv shows and films with each other at the same time even though you’re in different cities.
Staying positive – I know this sounds easier said than done again but if you truly want the relationship to work out, I promise keeping positive is really important for those months apart. By keeping positive try and make plans ahead for when you can see each other again; organise date nights, plan days out etc. You also need to allow yourself to feel sad. It is hard maintaining a long-distance relationship, and you’re allowed to have those days where you just want to cry because you miss the other person. Try talking to them about it and I can assure you they will feel the same. In all honesty, if you truly feel they’re worth waiting for and they feel the same too, it will work out.